Helping Children Cope with Separation Anxiety: A Lesson Using "The Kissing Hand"
Separation anxiety is a common and challenging experience for young children, parents, and educators alike. The tears and distress that accompany saying goodbye can be heart-wrenching, leaving parents feeling helpless and educators struggling to comfort and reassure their students. As the new school year approaches, finding effective strategies to ease this transition becomes crucial. One powerful tool in addressing separation anxiety is the beloved children's book, "The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn, which offers a comforting and tangible way to help children feel secure and loved even when apart from their families.
Book Overview: "The Kissing Hand"
"The Kissing Hand" tells the story of Chester Raccoon, who is nervous about starting school for the first time. Chester's mom shares a family secret called the "kissing hand" to reassure him of her love whenever he feels scared or lonely. By kissing the palm of Chester's hand, Mrs. Raccoon provides him with a tangible reminder of her love and support. This simple yet powerful gesture helps Chester feel more secure and confident as he faces his new adventure.
Target Audience: Pre K, Kindergarten, 1st grade, 2nd grade
Counseling Lesson: Addressing Separation Anxiety
Lesson Objectives:
1. Help students understand and articulate their feelings of separation anxiety.
2. Introduce a coping strategy to manage these feelings.
3. Foster a sense of security and confidence in students as they start a new school year.
Key Points of the Lesson:
Discuss Feelings: Start by reading "The Kissing Hand" and discussing how Chester feels at the beginning of the story. Encourage students to share their own experiences of feeling nervous or scared when starting something new.
Introduce the Kissing Hand Technique: Explain how Chester's mom helps him by giving him a "kissing hand." This technique involves kissing the palm of his hand, so he can feel her love and support whenever he touches it. This is a great example of a coping skill that can be used in school counseling and elementary counseling sessions.
Explore Coping Skills: Discuss other ways students can cope with worry or separation anxiety. Examples include hugging a stuffed animal, taking deep breaths, using a fidget tool, hugging a pillow, or blowing bubbles. These strategies are essential parts of social-emotional learning (SEL) in Pre K, kindergarten, and early grades.
Personal Reflection: Ask students if they have ever felt worried or scared about being away from their grown-ups and how they coped with those feelings. This part of the counseling lesson helps children relate their experiences to Chester's and feel understood.
Make Your Own Kissing Hand: As a hands-on activity, have students color and cut out their own kissing hands. This physical representation can be a helpful reminder of their loved ones and a practical tool they can use to manage their emotions. I also like to use little heart-shaped trinkets, such as the tiny fabric hearts shown in the picture below.
5 Tips to Manage Separation Anxiety in Children
1. Create a Consistent Goodbye Routine
Establishing a predictable goodbye routine can provide a sense of security and comfort for young children. Whether it’s a special handshake, a hug, or a "kissing hand" like in "The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn, a consistent routine helps children know what to expect and eases the transition from home to school.
2. Encourage Familiarity with the New Environment
Before the first day of school, arrange visits to the classroom or daycare to familiarize your child with the new environment. Meeting the teacher, exploring the classroom, and even playing in the playground can help reduce anxiety by making the setting more familiar and less intimidating.
3. Use Transitional Objects
Allow children to bring a comfort item from home, such as a favorite stuffed animal, a small toy, or a family photo. These transitional objects can provide reassurance and a sense of security, helping children feel connected to home even when they are apart from their parents.
4. Stay Calm and Positive
Children often take cues from the adults around them. If parents and educators remain calm and positive, it can help children feel more secure. Speak positively about the new experience, emphasizing the fun activities and new friends they will make, rather than focusing on the separation.
5. Acknowledge and Validate Their Feelings
It’s important to acknowledge and validate a child’s feelings of anxiety or sadness about being separated. Let them know it’s okay to feel scared or nervous, and offer reassurance that these feelings are normal. Providing empathy and understanding can help children feel heard and supported, making the separation process easier.
Conclusion
Using "The Kissing Hand" in elementary school counseling lessons is an effective way to help young children cope with separation anxiety. By providing a tangible coping strategy, counselors can support students in feeling more secure and confident as they start their school journey. This lesson not only addresses social-emotional learning (SEL) but also creates a comforting environment for children to express their feelings and learn valuable coping skills.
