How to Build Resilience in Elementary Students
Resilience is one of the most important life skills we can help children develop, and also one of the hardest to teach. It is the ability to bounce back when things go wrong, to try again after a mistake, and to keep going even when challenges feel overwhelming. Over the years, I’ve noticed more and more students struggling with this. If you have too, you are not imagining it.
In this post, I’m diving into the reasons behind the rise in low resilience, ten core resilience-building skills, and simple ways to teach these skills. I’ll also share my favorite books, games, and a free lesson plan and activity that you can use in your counseling program.
Why Are Kids Struggling to Cope?
It seems like even small setbacks are harder for students to handle than they used to be. There are a few key factors that may be contributing.
Technology and Social Media
Kids are growing up with less face-to-face interaction and fewer opportunities to learn how to handle disappointment in real-time. Instead, they often turn to screens for comfort or distraction, which limits the practice needed to build emotional resilience.
Academic Pressure
Many students face high expectations starting in kindergarten or even earlier. The fear of failure can feel overwhelming, especially when there is little room for mistakes or second chances.
Overprotection at Home
Well-meaning parents often try to protect children from anything uncomfortable. But this can take away the chance to learn through failure or disappointment. Resilience develops when kids experience small challenges and have support working through them.
Lack of Coping Strategies
Some students simply have not learned what to do when they feel frustrated, anxious, or discouraged. Without tools to regulate emotions and work through problems, everyday situations can feel like major roadblocks.
Why Resilience Matters
Resilience helps kids adapt to change, face challenges with courage, and keep moving forward even when things do not go their way. It supports emotional well-being, social development, and academic success. And the best news? It is something we can help students build through everyday lessons, conversations, and experiences.
10 Skills That Strengthen Resilience
These ten skills form a strong foundation for helping kids handle tough moments and bounce back. Each one can be taught through simple strategies and activities in your counseling program.
1. Emotional Regulation
Teach students to recognize their feelings, express them in healthy ways, and calm themselves when upset.
Try: breathing exercises, emotion check-ins, using visuals or calm-down tools
2. Problem Solving
Help students feel empowered to handle challenges by working through solutions.
Try: presenting real-life scenarios, practicing decision-making, using “what could I do” charts
3. Positive Thinking
Encourage children to focus on growth, effort, and possibilities.
Try: gratitude journals, affirmations, compliment circles
4. Self-Efficacy and Self-Esteem
Build confidence by showing students that they are capable and valuable.
Try: setting achievable goals, celebrating progress, strengths-based praise
5. Social Skills
Support students in developing empathy, communication, and teamwork.
Try: role-plays, group challenges, friendship skills games
6. Self-Advocacy
Teach kids that asking for help is a strength, not a weakness.
Try: identifying safe adults, rehearsing how to ask for support, "who can help" worksheets
7. Adaptability
Show students how to handle change with flexibility and problem-solving.
Try: switch-it-up games, flexible thinking scenarios, talking about plan B options
8. Self-Care
Reinforce the importance of taking care of their bodies and minds.
Try: making self-care plans, stretching breaks, sleep and hydration check-ins
9. Optimism
Nurture hopeful thinking and confidence in future success.
Try: reflecting on past successes, creating hope clouds, journaling about goals
10. Mindfulness
Help kids stay present and notice their thoughts and feelings without judgment.
Try: guided breathing, mindful coloring, listening to nature sounds
Books That Build Resilience
These stories are powerful tools for sparking discussions about bouncing back, handling disappointment, and finding strength.
Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes
This book is a fun way to teach flexibility, optimism, and emotional regulation. As Pete’s shoes change colors, he doesn’t panic. He keeps walking along and singing. Use this story to remind students that things may not always go their way, but they can choose how to respond. I offer a full lesson based on this story, and you can grab it for free below.
After the Fall by Dan Santat
This book is a beautiful follow-up to Humpty Dumpty’s famous fall. It shows the fear of trying again after failure, which is something many students can relate to. This story supports growth mindset, courage, and persistence.
The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires
Perfect for teaching problem solving and self-regulation, this book follows a girl who tries again and again to build something magnificent. She faces frustration, takes a break, and keeps going. Great for encouraging perseverance and flexible thinking.
Taco Falls Apart by Brenda S. Miles
This story helps normalize anxiety and teaches emotional regulation. When Taco’s world feels like it is falling apart, he learns strategies to feel calm and in control again. It is an excellent tool for discussing coping skills.
Don’t Blow Your Top by Rachael Robertson
This book introduces emotional control in a fun and relatable way. It helps kids understand how to handle anger before it explodes, which supports both emotional regulation and social success.
Games That Teach Resilience
Games offer safe, fun practice for dealing with stress, problem solving, and bouncing back.
Jenga
This game builds focus and patience, but it also creates natural moments of failure. When the tower falls, students can practice emotional control and try again. Use it as a conversation starter about what it feels like to fail and what helps us move forward.
Uno
Uno is a great game for learning how to manage frustration, follow rules, and be a good sport. Use moments of disappointment in the game to talk about emotional regulation and respectful reactions.
Don’t Tip the Waiter
This stacking game is full of suspense and gentle frustration, making it perfect for teaching patience and emotional regulation. As students carefully balance items on the waiter’s tray, they get to practice handling mistakes and setbacks in a playful, low-stakes environment. It's a fun way to spark discussions about staying calm and trying again.
The Fuzzies
This balancing game is great for modeling focus and resilience. When the tower falls, you can reinforce the idea that mistakes are part of learning and we can always try again.
Weeble Wobbles
These toys always return to an upright position no matter how many times they are knocked over. They are the perfect metaphor for resilience. Let kids play with them while talking about times they have had to get back up in life.
Balance Mini Chairs Game
This game helps with perseverance and planning. Students can experience small failures as the stack falls and learn how to approach the challenge differently next time.
Free Resilience Lesson: White Shoes
To help you teach resilience in a fun and simple way, I created a free mini lesson based on the story with the groovy cat and his changing shoes. Since the book is copyrighted, I refer to it as the White Shoes lesson.
You will get:
A no-prep PowerPoint for classroom or small group use
An engaging, story-based activity
Printable worksheets that reinforce optimism, emotional regulation, and flexibility
This is my most popular freebie and a favorite among counselors. It is a great way to introduce resilience to younger students in a way they can relate to.
Final Thoughts
Teaching resilience does not require a big curriculum or a lot of prep. It just takes small, intentional lessons that help kids practice how to bounce back when life gets tough. You are already doing the work by showing up for your students and giving them tools to grow stronger. This blog is here to support you with ideas that work in real classrooms and counseling spaces.
You are not just teaching kids how to cope. You are helping them believe they can.